It was in a small private room on this day two years ago. Living and loving out our fast-paced days and fraudulent messes without much thought or logic. Elusive dreams and flippant ambition, we sat barred in our own humaness. It gave us pause for reflection. Waiting for the dread. The inevitable. I wished I weren’t there. I wished noone were there. But we were.
DNR. It was mom’s wishes.
The whole family had come together. All but one. Jerry, Casey, Kensey, Brady, Stephen, DeAnna, Brooke, Kyle, Kaylee, Chelsey, Kinley, Karlie, Kevin, Tracy, Savannah, Sydney, Aidan, Eli, Don, Breanna, Brittany. We tried to keep mom comfortable and pain-free. It was Day 6. I wished time were deliberate and still.
We played out our days at the hospital sharing stories, playing cards, laughing, reading, some doing homework, puzzles, eating crawfish and pizza (something my dad would’ve loved) and sharing more stories. Some stayed overnight so mom was never left alone. Ironically, it was a long 6 days of the best days with my family. Ever.
Then, it was as though mom waited for the last grandchild to be present. My son, Ben, arrived from Ottawa. We were all happy to see him but it was also a solemn reminder of things to come.
On that very day, early evening, there was a moment in conversation. Sharing the incredulous Ben family tales of the deepest darkest secrets that mom and dad never knew about. Chatter and lots of snickering, especially from the children. I looked around and saw lips moving and jovial stirs but then all was muted. I could see the laughter but hear nothing. Everyone tending to their own muses but it was I, who sat next to her, often peering at her angelic face. My hand on her arm. She seemed to be sleeping and was really beautiful.
But this time was different.
I glanced again at her as I often did and saw her take her last breath. The very moment. I immediately stood and turned to Don and gasped, “she has stopped breathing”. My hands cupped my mouth and I began to cry uncontrollably. Don grabbed me. We all stood up around her. Not a word spoken. Staring and sobbing.
Our Mimi was gone.
Mom spoke of this day to us for years. Yes, for years. She KNEW where her heart was. She KNEW of no greater hope. She KNEW the promise of her salvation. She KNEW the joy she would know on the other side. She left with utmost confidence. She was not afraid. There would be no more pain. No more sorrow. A day she truly coveted. Nothing less. She had finally arrived.
After a while Jerry looked up and quietly spoke. “I’d like to speak to my sister and brothers alone please”. Honoring his request, the others slowly made their way out of the room.
We looked at each other, held hands and stood around mom. The tears would not stop.
Jerry was quiet long before he began to speak. Then he looked up and said, “I vowed to myself, this would mark the beginning of a new time for my family. Mom and dad are both gone now and I’d like to know if you want this too”. We agreed in solidarity. He continued, “We need to carry the greatness of this legacy of mom and dad to our families. To live out kindness and unconditional love to our children and to each other. To continue to pour God’s grace into our family, pursue His perfect design in our lives. To find joy in the little things, to build each other up and to continually pray daily for one another.”
He then closed his eyes and we prayed. It was for the beginning of our new normal without mom.
This was a gift that my parents were an example to and lived by to my 3 brothers and I. Every single day. And many of you know that gift today. And it is only by choice that we can have it. Come as you are and know the true worth you are in Christ. Nothing, no nothing, is greater than this.
“By wisdom a house is built and through understanding, it is established”. Proverbs 24:3
Beautiful words. I was with my Mom when she went to be with the Lord. It is a memory I will cherish forever, as I am sure you will, too. I loved being around your Mom…she exuded the joy she carried with her always. Blessings and peace to all of you in this very special anniversary.
I am just now reading this. Thank you Mrs Satterwhite! We have such fond memories of your family too. God bless you!!
Pam, I love this. It describes you all so well.
Your family was wonderful neighbors. 😍
We all loved and respected you all very much.
You and all your family are in my prayers. I
know how hard it is to lose your mom and dad.
My mother went to be with God in 2014. She was 93 1/2. Same year I lost my hubby Brooks.
We can all have our precious memories. Some people don’t have these.
God bless you all and give all my love.
🙏🙏💙 your mom was a wonderful sweet Christian woman. A mom to be so proud of.
Love you all
I am just now reading this. Thank you Mrs. McKelroy! Love you bunches!!
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